How shared care and community can make the holidays brighter for everyone.
For many, the festive season is a time of celebration, togetherness and reflection. For some, it can feel fraught with stress and tension from the pressure of trying to accommodate and please loved ones.
For those in the ‘sandwich generation’ of their lives, attempting to support both young families and ageing parents, it’s a time of intense logistical and emotional juggling. Between family get-togethers, holiday plans and festive traditions, the worry of making sure our elderly loved ones are safe and cared for can weigh heavily.
For Trans-50 administrator Lidia Erasmus, that feeling is something she understands both professionally and personally. Erasmus works at the organisation’s head office, and her mother has been a long-standing resident at their Witfield Park Village in Boksburg for the past 17 years. Having experienced both sides of the coin, as a family member and employee, she describes having a parent live in a community setting like Witfield Park, as providing peace of mind for families.
While acknowledging that the decision to move a parent into a retirement setting can feel daunting, she encourages those looking after their ageing families to reframe this decision as one made from love and support. Feelings of guilt are common, but Erasmus knows how much the typical model of retirement villages has changed over the years, saying, “They’re lively communities filled with activities and friendships. Residents often have such full calendars that you need to make an appointment just to catch them at home!”
Moving into a phase of life that allows individuals to slow down and release them from the obligations of running a home is often a relief for residents once they have settled into their surroundings. It’s about helping your family members make a new space for themselves in a warm environment that values independence, dignity and joy.
Her advice to families navigating the festive season is to include older parents in holiday plans and focus on meaningful moments. “Ask them what they would enjoy. Sometimes it’s not the big event that matters most, but the small moments of connection. A shared meal or a quiet cup of tea.” Erasmus continues, “For those who live far away, take heart in the fact that a reliable care facility has a team on-site willing to help its residents feel happy and forge new connections.”
Far from being a quiet or lonely place, life in assisted communities like that at Witfield Park is filled with positive energy and strong bonds. Particularly over the festive season! Their line dancing group hosts an annual concert for residents and families, and other activities include sing-alongs in the Care Centre, a Carols by Candlelight event, intergenerational visits such as children from the local nursery school children and even a festive movie every day in the lead-up to Christmas.
“Last year, a sponsor helped us host a Christmas lunch for 100 independent residents, and the same is planned again this year,” Erasmus says. “Families are always welcome to join, which makes the day even more meaningful.”
For those feeling worried they are not doing enough when the season of giving feels more ‘stressed than blessed’, here are some top tips to bear in mind:
- Your family doesn’t need curated gifts or perfect moments; they need you to be present. Be intentional and totally in the moment.
- Rest is not a reward or an act of self-care; it’s essential maintenance. Think of it like petrol for a vehicle, it simply can’t run on empty.
- You cannot manage everything on your own. Allow the staff at the care facility to support you during the busy festive season.
- Go easy on yourself. You deserve the same compassion you allow everyone else.
- Be mindful. A hug and a ‘thank you’ go a long way for staff dedicating their time to make the season brighter for your loved ones.
For many adult children, especially those living far away, knowing their parents are surrounded by a caring community brings deep reassurance. In South Africa, many ageing parents may feel lost with children and grandchildren living in far-flung cities, or even other countries. Having a warm environment and a full social calendar offers residents a renewed sense of purpose and vigour.
Trans-50 residents enjoying the Christmas spirit.
